Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
