I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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