Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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