we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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