I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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