Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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