yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
