I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
