I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
