A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
