so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
