Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
