if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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