I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Panties = found
Randomize
