the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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