why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
