I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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