That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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