do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
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Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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