I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
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I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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