"it" just moved
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
