the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
These tits shall not be calmed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
