Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
