My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
