She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
