it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just blew my weed a kiss
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
