I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
