Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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