Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
