it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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