im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
