I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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