I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
