Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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