i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
