Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
two words: eviction party
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
