I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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