ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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