Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she looked like the before picture.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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