I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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