beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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