i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm sobbing to NWA
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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