I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize