We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
