ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
