You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
