Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
