We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
