remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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