pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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