I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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