Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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