you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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