it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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