Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize