I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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