there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
