I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
