i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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