He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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